The New Series of 'Survivor'
Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes. There is no fast food. Each man must take care of his 3 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money. In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.
Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time. Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.
He must make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.
The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons. Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a toilet roll tube and some dry pasta. They must get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.
Each man must adorn himself with jewellery, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or sick on their clothing.
During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.
He will need to read a book to the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 8am. They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.
A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also each child's favourite color, middle name, favourite snack, favourite song, favourite drink, favourite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.
They must clean up after their sick children at 2am, and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better. They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to "You're not the boss of me".
The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.
Only then will the winner be granted the honoured title of 'Mum'!!
Dedicated to all you fabulous mothers out there!! :-)
Beady stuff and unbeady stuff
2 weeks ago